A joy to be here! Love the site and these blogs. Mucking about with the headings now. So, now what? How? Why does this look the way it does? Is this any better? Now? Ah nuts! So, here we go again. Sorry to see that I've run out of decaffeinated coffee, so will go and boil the first thing that I have to hand, which is the kettle! :-)
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Posted by amanda in Untagged
Decided to day that i am gonna keep a blog of the good the bad and the ugly. How i now cope with everyday life and everyday feelings without numbing either with drink or drugs. There are many highs but many lows, i am learning to deal with these day by day. I have been clean five mnths. The first four were in rehab so looking back were fairly easy as i was in a safe'bubble'. My life was on hold , i had no bills, no issues with housing, my childrens care was taken care of. I have been out of rehab a mnth and it has been tough, really tough. It would of been a lot tougher if i had been drinking or using. I have had a lot of positives . I have made a lot of new friends,people whom have offered me so much support ,love and kindness. I am also living my life not just the existence i was living before. I was sad, alone and depressed when i drank/used everyday. Some days sre tough now but i usually smile /laugh at something everyday. I also now know i do have control....i can put in as much effort as i wish and change the way i think or feel about situations which in turn can make my day better or worse. I am the only one whom controls the way i think or feel ...i always need to remember that.The other point i need to remember is that i cant take this journey on my own.Had a great day today after a few bad days when i isolated myself. Luckily i have Smart and the Smarties and a support network i am building day by day and some good friends.I thank you all. Amanda.xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi just joined as Im a recovering addict, this was suggested to me by Sadas who have helped me get to we're I am now, which is a world away from we're I was, I'm down to 0.4mg of subutex, and hope to get off that soon, I have a lot of time on my hands and thought this would be a good place to spend it,instead of going crazy trying to make myself sleep.have watched opening videos, and trying to find my way round this site. I want to pass back the knowledge I've gained and going to gain, from them and from here. Sorry if posted in wrong place but trying to work out how this works!!!!!
Hi Everyone, hope you all are well Has anyone(or is)experiencing my phenomena I have been sober for eighteen months, up till now everything has been great I have kept myself busy, and rarely get urges, but there seems to be something missing and I don't know what it is
Love: Let me dive into an ocean of love, let me dive deep and feel the weight from above, let me breathe it in and fill up my lungs, let it engulf me whilst still deeper I plunge. Let it soak through my skin and fill up my heart, let me overdose on it and glide like a lark, then let the heavens open and rain down from the sky, droplets of love soaking where it was dry. Let it fill up my senses 'till I can't take anymore, then let it fill up a lake so I'll have a good store, let me throw back my head and feel the drops hit my tongue, tasting the sweetness, being overcome. Then let me see the beauty behind this powerful source, let me view the creator, wild and free like a horse, let me tame her and ride her and canter bare back, because it'll feel closer to nature without using the tack. Let us ride together as one and leap any fence, let us ride like the wind feeling immense, let the energy build up and erupt in our chests, a simultaneous climax not wanting to rest. Let us feel like we're flying as the trees flicker past, galloping into darkness faster than fast, then let us slow down and breathe looking up to the sky, while a thousand shooting stars go whizzing by. That's a thousand wishes but I only need one to come true, that we can enjoy this forever just me and you. And wander free and feel inseparable, because there's no comparison between how I feel now and what came before! Paul Martin
Opened by John Liddle from the NTA (National Treatment Agency) the meeting began by John informing the group that from 1st April 2013 the NTA will become part of Public Health England . Under their new remit the NTA could no longer support service user forums, as their focus will be on the wider public health agenda. Rather than viewing John’s address as a negative, people in attendance were positive and eager to continue the forum independently and felt able to do that without the level of support previously given by the NTA. Taking ownership of the forum themselves, discussion moved on to how they would continue with the same passion and commitment to recovery. Their commitment was summed up by one member of the group who stated “We must continue to protect the voice of people in recovery in the North East” “Unity is strength, the power of coming together in these forums helps motivate people in their recovery” added another. This was the first time the North East Forum had been held in Hartlepool.
DISC Recovery worker Steve Loxley outlined the development of the new recovery focused model of treatment in Hartlepool, which is a partnership between DISC, Intra Health, and Lifeline , and introduced speakers who have used Hartlepool Journey to Recovery Service to talk about their experiences. A music group supported by Lifeline took to the stage first with everyone on their feet and applauding as the singer struggled to complete the song shaking with nerves. “You can do it!! Come on” they shouted out words of encouragement which was really moving and demonstrates the support and motivation this group share. David, now a volunteer and peer mentor at Journey to Recovery then got up to discuss his experiences. “I’ve been an addict for over 26 years. I didn’t ever think I could change, now I know I can” explains David. “Since going to rehab and now back in Hartlepool volunteering with Journey to Recovery I’ve finally built bridges with my family and for the first time in my life I’m happy” adds David. “I’m now trying to use my experience to help and support others” said David to a burst of supportive applause. “Peer mentors like David are such an inspiration to others” comments Recovery worker Steve, “These forums are so important to people in recovery across our region. It enables people like David to come and share their recovery journeys and helps motivate others.”
Alan, a poet in recovery from Hartlepool then took the opportunity to read one of his recovery poems entitled ‘The Drug Addict’ The drug addict lies Alone in his room In his own little world Filled with fear and gloom The money he needs He must get it fast Where will it come from How long will it last He steals for his habit The craving to feed The heroin feels good He buys what he needs He gets his next fix With money he stole He still doesn’t realise The drugs taking its toll He digs in the needle Into the vein in his arm He’s no longer craving It’s worked like a charm The damage is done He’s had his last hit He’s gone into spasm Which leads to a fit They found him next morning Alone in his bed But it was too late The addict was dead Alan started writing poetry over 10 years ago and has written hundreds of poems as well as a published poetry book ‘Behind the Voices’ which features poems about Alan’s mental health issues. “I hope to show through poetry that even with a mental illness and fighting an addiction you can overcome the daily struggles of life and do something constructive if you believe in yourself enough” said Alan.
Lee, a volunteer in recovery was next up to speak discussing how he as a volunteer for Journey to Recovery has set up and runs a mutual aid group in the community, MAGIC. The group accessed its own funding and is ran by people in recovery for people in recovery, truly inspiring stuff!
Paul finished the section from Hartlepool with a song about recovery, ‘The right Track’. Paul also a volunteer and peer mentor plays the acoustic guitar and himself and poet Alan had written the recovery song. “I’m so glad to get my life back” concluded Paul to raucous applause from the whole hall! Hartlepool Journey to Recovery DISC provide community recovery support to problematic drug users. The project supports those people who want to stop, reduce or control and recover from their drug use. The team helps to address psycho-social issues which could impact upon drug-taking and lifestyles. This may include issues around self-esteem confidence, social skills health and housing support.
Posted by natashaa in Untagged
I did a presentation about Smart Recovery the other day at a treatment centre, I found individuals that have been told they have a illness and it is because they have addiction they will never recover from it.'' their ''addiction''. I felt quite sad that people are been told that they have to suffer for life and there is no end to their pain. I came away from the presentation more motivated and grateful that I found Smart Recovery and looking forward to doing more.I have been in recovery for 3 years' I I find S/R doable and the tools help me with much more than my addictive behaviour. I use the po's and con's to make appoint with my child, who always has a good argument when she dose not what to do something; When I don't what to get out of bed in the morning but know I have to, I use the Smart tools in many aspects of my life. Thank you Smart Recovery for helping me to find the inner strength and empowering me to cope with my life and situations/ people that are in it.
Hi Everyone, This is all new to me. Although it has taken my wife wanting a separation before the penny dropped about my alcoholism- I am excited about embracing a new life. At some point I hope to win her back, but who knows? For now it's a new direction and a new way of thinking. I look for award to reading some positive stuff on this blogg
It is so hard at times when the struggles of day to day life have you tied up in a knot so tight you feel that you can't breath. Your mind is screaming for escape and the demon that is your addiction raises its head and offers to untie you. You want to reach out, you want to breathe again but then your heart shouts out, stop!, look inside me and it begins to fill your mind with the pictures and warmth of all that you hold dear, all your reasons.......you see your children smiling, you see your family laughing with pride in their eyes, you see all the things you dreamed of there with in your reach but above this you see you, strong, beautiful and happy and the knot begins to untie, the air fills your lungs and you breathe again. The moment has passed and you have come through. Addiction never goes away but you learn to face it and fight it because you know if it ever won again, everything you hold in your heart will be gone. listen to your heart, it will keep you safe :)